I have to be honest and say that I have been putting this topic off for a while now because I have not been ready to address the elephant in the room. However, due to recent events that have occurred in my life I feel that it is time to talk about the issues that bothers me as I try to negotiate my identity as a Nigerian-American in our society today.

When people ask me the puzzling question “Where are you from?” without blinking I automatically say “I am Nigerian-American.” But am I truly Nigerian or American? That is the impression I get from most people who look at me and evaluate me according to their perceptions and judgments as to what a “true” Nigerian or American should look or sound like. For example, my first on air radio broadcast on KPFT 90.1 FM titled “Channeling the Inner Immigrant and Embracing America,” went very well because my friend Amaka and I had a dialogue about our experiences and challenges as Nigerian women striving to succeed in America. It came as a shock to me when some people actually told me that I did not sound like an immigrant so I did not qualify to speak for immigrants. According to them, I am too Americanized. Americanized? What in the world does that mean?! The hurtful part of it all was that this criticism came from people close to me. Apparently, my Nigerian accent was not strong enough to be qualified as a “Nigerian” and I sounded more Western than African. On the other hand, I was once told that I am not American because I have a foreign accent. In addition, I was informed by an individual that naturalized Americans are not truly Americans because they were not born in America. I have lived in America for eighteen years and have immersed myself in the culture; so this individual really gave me something to think about with regards to my identity. So who is an American? I believed that being a citizen was the ticket to being American but I have realized that this is not the case in the real world because I am still a foreigner with a blue passport that only legalizes my residency in America. This was when I started to think about how Nigerians and Americans evaluated my identity based on my appearance and intonation. The funny thing is up until this point, I considered myself a fabulous Nigerian-American enjoying her heritage while embracing Western cultures. Yes, I do embrace Western music, food, art and people that appeal to me because I believe that merging my Nigerian experiences with my Western experiences promotes diversity in my personal and professional life. I do not feel that there is anything wrong in getting the best of both worlds as long as you are using it for productive and positive endeavors. However, lately I feel isolated as if I do not belong anywhere and I find myself constantly trying to prove myself as a Nigerian and an American. Why should I have to prove my identity in the twenty-first century- an era of change and enlightenment?

“… I started to think about how Nigerians and Americans evaluated my identity based on my appearance and intonation. The funny thing is up until this point, I considered myself a fabulous Nigerian-American enjoying her heritage while embracing Western cultures…”

I think about my upbringing in Nigeria and I appreciate the endeavors my parents made to keep us grounded in our Nigerian identity as they introduced us to Western film, music and lifestyle. My father was a journalist; and so at a young age I met foreigners from Europe and enjoyed treats he brought back from his journeys overseas. My parents spoke the English language to us throughout our entire childhood and encouraged us to speak English properly. I did not grow up speaking my native Igbo language and I still struggle with it. As a matter of fact, some Nigerians laugh at me when I speak Igbo so I do not bother anymore. Were my parents wrong by not enforcing the Igbo language in our household? Some people may think so but I do not because that was how they chose to raise their children and I am grateful to them for all their efforts. So does this make me any less a Nigerian? Absolutely Not! I was born and raised in Lagos-State Nigeria and I did not leave for America until I was twenty-one years old. So I am definitely an “Eko” Babe and a Daughter of the Soil. Furthermore, most of the music I listened to in Nigeria were Western because in my childhood and early teenage years, my father brought home VHS cassette music videos of famous artists at the time such as Richard Marxx, Billy Joel, Phil Collins, Madonna, Kenny Rogers, Dolly Parton, Olivia Newton-John (I love XANADU), Bee-Gees et al. My favorite videos were from the Top of the Pops artists such as AHA, Simply Red, Nu-Shooz, Boy George and The Eurythmics/Annie Lennox. Ok…I have a sudden case of nostalgia already!! As you can see, I had a very diverse upbringing that allowed me to enjoy both Nigerian artists like Oliva De Coque, Onyeka Onwenu, Sunny Ade, Bobby Benson, Sonny Okonsu and Western artists. This early exposure created diverse performance awareness for me and I embraced this experience. My early experiences in Nigeria made me appreciate art regardless of where it was produced. Thanks to my upbringing I am still able to enjoy both International and Western performances and cultures. I love my Nigerian artists Flavour, Tiwa Savage, P-Square, Wiz-Kid, Black Magic, Olamide and I equally love my Western artists John Mayer, Adele, Michael Buble, Maroon 5, Lorde, et al. I can go on and on but you get my drift.

“…My parents spoke the English language and encouraged us to speak English properly. I had a very diverse upbringing that allowed me to enjoy both Nigerian and Western artists. I am definitely an “Eko” Babe and a Daughter of the Soil…”

So who am I? I grew up in Nigeria but I have spent eighteen years in America learning new things, embarking on friendships with Americans and evolving as a person. I spent ten years in Washington D.C. and eight years in Texas so should I neglect my American identity as well? I don’t think so because I love my Nigerian-American identity. I love the fact I can adapt to the Nigerian and American environments alike because it is who I am and I make no apologies for claiming both identities. I do not have a problem with how others identify themselves because they have the right to make their choices but I have a problem when I am told that I am not Black enough, Nigerian enough or American enough. Why am I any different? Is it because I do not speak Igbo fluently nor speak English with a thick Nigerian accent? Am I less Black because I embrace and appreciate “white” culture? Am I less American because I was not born in America or because I have a foreign accent? These are the questions that have bothered me lately because it made me look at my life closely to see how my upbringing influenced my identity journey as an adult. To answer my critics, I am a strong Black woman who is very secure in her choices and identity as a Nigerian-American. I should not have to apologize or explain who I am to anybody because I am unique to my being. I love Chimamda Ngozi Adichie’s speech on “The Danger of a Single Story” because she is correct on the fact that we can have different stories and we should not be defined by one single story. Black people have different stories about their identities because believe it or not, we all do not look or act alike! Our stories come from our heritage, dreams, aspirations, lived experiences, expertise, travel, education, environment and choices. We should not be confined to a single identity because of where we were born. Why? Well because certain events and locations change our lives and influence our identities. However, if you choose to have a single identity, then that is your choice and I am happy for you. My identity started in Lagos-State Nigeria and evolved in the United States of America. Who knows, if I relocate to another continent, I might just have a new identity and it will be my choice. Again, I ask, who am I? My name is Diva Ngoma and I am a Nigerian-American!