It was baffling to me because I had a wonderful pregnancy with no complications, so it was heart breaking for me to learn that the son that I prayed for was diagnosed with autism. I remember in my conversation with God, I said “Dear God, I prayed for a son and I promised you that I will call him Samuel because I asked of you and you blessed me. So why is my Samuel autistic”? I never received a direct answer from God but somewhere along my journey I found hope for my son.

After I mourned the devastating news, I began to look at my son as the hope for the future. There is nothing that God cannot do to change any situation and I became more prayerful and in touch with my emotions towards my son’s diagnosis. I was told that my son would be non-verbal and possibly non-conversant but with the devil being a liar that it is, slowly but surely my son started to speak. The first time I heard him say “mommy” I cried for days because he knew I was his mother. He began making longer sentences and now he is able to comprehend what people say to him. He is my miracle and truly my Samuel. I have watched him grow rapidly both physically and intellectually in the last four years and this gives me hope that things will get better. We all have worked very hard to support my son. The one thing I never deny my son is love and a lot of kisses because he understands that he has a family that loves him regardless of his diagnosis. The possibility for hope did not come overnight. It came from me searching my soul and finding the strength to be strong for my son and family.

As a mother to an autistic son, I know how unfair society can be to somebody they cannot understand or control. Also, I understand the shame or denial that some people may have for being a parent to an autistic child. When we go out with our son and he is being himself, we get stares and unkind non-verbal attitudes from people who simply think that he is being too noisy or unruly. Though it hurts to see these reactions, I know it will get better because I see my son evolving everyday into a new person. I have come to believe that autism is a diagnosis and not a life sentence because there is room for improvements. Unfortunately, it has been a lonely journey for me because nobody seems to care about my son’s developments or how I am coping with his diagnosis. Thank God that I am blessed because my son is in an excellent program strictly for autistic children. I have come to love and respect the teachers who dedicate their lives to teaching and caring for my son. Today, I salute my favorite teachers Mrs. Renee Hernandez and Mrs. Ashley Barroso for their dedication and love to help children with autism, especially their unconditional love for my son. I am very grateful to my son’s teachers because they have been my support system in understanding and coping with autism and this gives me hope to know that people do care. Finding a support system is awesome!!

Importantly, finding hope to deal with the challenges of raising an autistic son comes from being a voice for my son in the community. When I talk about my pain it gives me hope because I know I can help those out there who cannot speak for themselves. In addition, it gives those in denial the courage to face the reality of their challenges. My voice is my hope and I never stop fighting to overcome my challenges because I do not settle for defeat or mediocre. When I look at my son I see how he has changed me by teaching me what unconditional love truly means - the ability to love someone whole heartedly in any circumstance even if there seems to be no hope in sight. My son taught me how to endure and be patient and by the time I realized what was happening, I found myself being able to tolerate any bullshit thrown my way. So perhaps, he was sent to change my life and now I must be a warrior for him in his journey    to    defy    the    odds    and    change    the    discourse    on    autism.

Though I may have the passion to fight against the odds, I am overwhelmed with circumstances beyond my control. For example, I understand the challenges my son faces and I worry constantly about his future as an adult. Unfortunately, I cannot control the future but as a parent it is inevitable not to think about what the future may hold for my handsome boy. In all, I choose to live in the present and enjoy every minute of my son’s success because they are priceless. The truth of the matter is that I do not see my son as an autistic boy, I see him as a person with challenges not different from the rest of the world. The only difference is that the world sees his autism in the open while we work hard to hide our imperfections. When I look at my son and my daughter it amazes me to see their differences in a unique way that makes them human. I love to see my son shine as he plays music so I know he will be a talented artist.

It has taken me a long time to reach this point in my life but I have found peace in my storms. I have found hope through my son’s progress and my relentless fight to make sure that my son exceeds all expectations. To you out there going through a storm, I want to encourage you to find your voice in your situation because hope comes from knowing that everything will get better eventually. I know it can be lonely when people do not support you or understand your pain but you can do this by channeling your inner superhero to overcome your challenges. Stay optimistic and put a smile on your face because your victory is already here!!!