Before I attempt another back cracking dance fiasco let me take you on a journey in my forties lane. I must admit that it has been an amazing experience to watch my life change with time and I love the aging experience. I see aging as a movement towards greatness because you have the opportunity to improve on your past mistakes, make new sweet memories and get rid of insignificant people who do not add any value to your life - Amen!. However, my experiences are filled with comedic episodes worthy of a Hollywood script. For example, the one thing I love about getting older is that my sex drive is at its peak now compared to my twenties. I have no idea why my libido is off the hook these days but believe me, the sex is amazing!! However, my husband Ike cannot keep up with my sex drive because he is always ‘tired.’ Can you imagine this man? I find myself basically stalking and pouncing on him when I need to get my grove on; and it is ridiculous because I am beginning to look like Kathy Bates in the movie ‘Misery’....LOL!!! If I was not a God fearing woman and loyal wife, I would ask Ike for a ‘Hall Pass’ to seek and find Will Smith (no vex abeg Jada!) to quench this burning desire, but I love my Ike too much, so for now, I will settle for my sex toys.
While I recognize that my horny behind needs to be pleasured and satisfied, my body is not as it used to be in my twenties and I blame it on the aftermath of child birth. I will not even bother elaborating on my issues with excessive urination or impromptu fart episodes because it will take forever to finish that gist but after my body went through a dramatic change and expansion after child birth, I got my act together and started Zumba, dieting and intense athletic cardio exercises. Fortunately, I lost some weight; however, no amount of Zumba or dieting can solve my stretch marks and ‘FUPA’ problem. Since I cannot afford ‘contouring body sculpting’ or ‘cool-sculpting’, I am forced to use ‘waist trainers’ to hide my ‘FUPA’. Suffering to look good and half way suffocating with this ridiculous waist trainer, I think to myself, what the heck Ngoma? What can I say, but beauty comes with pain and one day I will be able to sculpt my body to finally get rid of my ‘FUPA’ and my entire collection of annoying waist trainers. Story of my life huh? The good news is that even with my child birth stretch marks and ‘FUPA’ drama; I am blessed to have two adorable children who fill my world with so much joy.
So aside from my body issues and aspirations to get back the body I yearn for, I love my aging experiences. Importantly, I am flattered by the occasional compliments of looking younger than my age but due to the ever-changing, evolving and introduction of new trends or ‘must-haves’ from technology to pop culture, I feel I am in a different world. For instance, when I hear a new word or slang I immediately go to my favorite website ‘urban dictionary’ to know the meaning of the word. This is hilarious because it is literally exhausting to keep up with the younger generation and their lingo, but if you have children it is necessary to stay relevant and updated on pop culture. Moreover, I love working with younger people because they keep me young and I live vicariously through their experiences. Please do not get me wrong, I do not wish to be in my twenties again because the game has changed tremendously. When I was younger it was fun to be in a relationship without any material expectations. I loved the courtship process of getting to know a man worthy of my time; and I was content with having dinner, a movie and great sex! However, in today’s society, it seems like the expectations are too high and couples need to sign contracts before committing to a relationship. There is no way on earth I can conform to such expectations for I am too down to earth to survive in this jungle of acquisitiveness - so Ike is stuck with me for eternity. I love the simplicity of life and though I love the benefits of having money, I know it does not bring happiness or fulfillment in life. Trust me, I know couples who are rich and yet they suffer silently, emotionally and psychologically in their relationships or marriages; but I digress.
So back to my life in the forties lane; the fun part of this new journey is when I get together with my old friends from college and we reminisce about our twenties. I remember our college years and how Friday nights and Homecoming weekends were filled with fun activities and dancing!!!! We studied hard and partied harder; we couldn’t wait to go out and boogie down to the new Jay Z song or display the dance moves we saw in Usher’s new video. Back then BET, MTV and VH1 were fun because they played mostly music videos that inspired our dance hall moves, so we battled each other to see who could drop it low on the dance floor. These days I need to stretch and put on my knee and back braces before attempting to drop anything low because this Diva ‘ain’t no spring chicken no more’...LOL!! In light of my bones cracking, I take a cocktail of vitamins (B6, B12, Calcium D3, et al) to assist me with nurturing my body so I can continue breaking my bones to keep up on the dance floor!! Who knew that vitamins would be my best friends in my forties right? But this is the reality of getting older, your body changes and your life changes but you keep slaying!!!
Even though my life is moving forward in unexpected and interesting ways, honestly, I know that there is peace and grace that comes with wisdom at an older age. For example, the wisdom to walk away from negativity; the wisdom to surround yourself with positivity; the wisdom to know that life is a gift that must be explored and the wisdom to evolve spiritually, emotionally and intellectually. I look at my past and I look at my future and it gets better every day. No doubt, the challenges and struggles are real, but the will to overcome and conquer is stronger and relentless. So my back and knees may hurt sometimes; Ike might deprive me of sex more often than usual and I might need to wear my waist trainers to hide my ‘FUPA’ but the cool thing about my story is that I go on to live a fabulous life at any age. So life in the forties lane isn’t so bad, you just have to embrace your inner Diva and keep slaying hard!!!