Dear Kene and Kachi,

I am blessed to be your mother. To have children of my own is wonderful because I was fortunate to have a great mother but unfortunate to have shared a limited time with her on earth. After my mother passed, I felt pain because we didn’t get to know one another on a profound level. I didn’t get the chance to know her life and share the joys and trials of my adulthood with her. Most importantly, I didn’t tell her how much I loved her enough because I thought we had time. I learned so cruelly that time had failed me and my mother was gone forever. I promise not to make the same mistake with you; so from the day you were born I have been praying for you and blessing you with all my love. In my journey, I’ve learned that without God I am nothing and that my relationship with Him is what saved my life. I pray that God watches over you and gives you divine favor and blessings in everything you achieve. Today I share my thoughts with you as our bond begins………

I want to tell you that the world is a perfect place and you will always be happy but that is only a dream and in our world you must live in reality. Your reality must embrace the fact that you are responsible for your actions and in control of your choices. It is alright to make mistakes because from your failures you will emerge a stronger person and a more defined individual. Life isn’t perfect and in your imperfections you will learn to love yourself for who you are and embrace your uniqueness. Always believe in yourself and trust that you have what it takes to succeed. Never apologize for who you are because you were created for a purpose and in time you will fulfill that purpose. When people throw negativity your way, respond with positivity because that’s your key to succeeding in a competitive and insatiable world. ___

Do not be afraid to be happy, generous, compassionate, cheerful, courageous, charming, funny, witty, intelligent and full of life because the alternative is sadness, loneliness and bitterness, which can lead to a miserable life. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to love and care for someone. They may not always love you in return but it feels good to share something special with others. However, do not be responsible for anyone’s happiness and do not depend on others for your happiness either. You must love yourself first before you decide to share your love with others. Not everyone will appreciate your endeavors but the reward is in your heart and peace of mind. As you mature, you will accept the fact that friends come and they go, it’s just the way of life. Sometimes people grow apart and go their separate ways and that is perfectly acceptable. You will surely make new friends but surround yourself with people who celebrate your true being. Make sure these people genuinely support your choices and are not afraid to keep it real with you. Try not to change the personality of your friends or soul mates because you will lose them forever. We are all different but it’s our unique differences that bring us together in friendship and love. Relationships and friendships are complicated; so may you have the wisdom to manage this complexity.

It is normal to feel pain but how you address the pain is very important too. Responding to pain with anger will never accomplish anything because anger will only lead to more pain and frustration. You must channel your pain into something positive that will uplift your essence. You will not be immune to disappointments but don’t let it stop you from challenging yourself to achieve greatness. When you fall on your face, pick yourself up, brush off the shame and move on to the next big challenge. Remember, our failures motivate us to become great individuals. When you are feeling sad, learn to how to laugh because humor can heal your soul. Love your family selflessly and unconditionally but do not be a doormat to their emotional abuse, neglect, and ingratitude. You will learn that it is the people we love that hurt us the most and the pain cuts deep. Thankfully, there is solace knowing that you can still share your love with others who will love and appreciate you in return. This is hard for me to say but “to err is human but to forgive is divine”. We humans are fallible and seek redemption. Find a way to forgive because carrying that poison in your heart can only bring animosity. Avoid those who bring chaos and embrace those exude optimism. I know I still struggle with forgiveness but I am at a better place today than I was yesterday.

My prayer is that I am alive to witness every milestone in your lives. I want to celebrate with you on your birthdays, graduation, award ceremonies, and weddings. I want to comfort you when you cry and rejoice with you in your triumphs. I want to witness the birth of my grandchildren and teach you a few tricks on parenting; an experience I couldn’t share with my mother. I want to be there to encourage you when you are struggling with life and confine myself from being irrational when we have our fights over your choices in relationships and otherwise. I may not always be right but everything I do will be out of love and concern for your well-being. It will not be easy being your mother as we will have our defining and challenging moments but I am excited and looking forward to our amazing future.

My Darlyns, as I bid you adieu for now, I leave you both with my words of wisdom……Face your challenges with courage, accept your defeats with dignity and embrace your victories with pride and joy!!

by Ngoma Moghalu